Bhooshita - Jeanie - Wild Ones Podcast Series - Good Day Cork

The 3rd Wild Ones Salon was held on 25th May '22 in aid of Cork-based charity SERVE's Flip Flop Appeal @ Maureen's bar. This episode was recorded at the event.

The Wild Ones Salon is a relaxed conversational space for women & non-binary people of all backgrounds. 

The Theme: I Choose to Challenge 

We had Bhooshita Soyjaudah and Jeanie Jyanti join as a special guests. In this podcast you will hear Bhooshita and Jeanie share their reflection at the Wild Ones Salon.

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Jeanie Jyanti is a yoga business owner who daily challenges the normative ways of being. From leaving her permanent pensionable job in science to pursue her passion to create a business and a community that serves people daily. She has a drive to live authentically and that, almost always, goes against the grain! She'd love to share her story with you.

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Bhooshita Soyjaudah is currently studying a Masters in International Public Policy and Diplomacy at UCC. Bhooshita is originally from Mauritius, but only lived there for nine months, and moved to India for six years, South Africa for four years, and now living in Ireland for 16 years. 

Bhooshita says, "You can say that I am a citizen of the world. I am passionate about languages, learning about new cultures as well as helping migrants in Ireland. My friend Sinead who is also a volunteer with SERVE, introduced me to the Think Global Act Local programme. Through this programme, I learnt a lot and I got to teach Vietnamese children English online. The Flip Flop Appeal is such a great cause. I choose to challenge the question where are you from?'"

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This edition of Wild Ones Salon is an initiative by Good Day Cork. Please note we've attached the podcast transcript.
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https://gooddaycork.com/

Podcast music & edited by Harry Menton. Produced by Good Day Cork

#Women #NonBinary #CorkLike #ChangeTheNarrative #GoodDayCork #SmashTheSterotypes #Queer #Pride #LGBTQIAPLUS 

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Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:06):

Welcome to the wild ones podcast by Good Day Cork. My name is Joanna Dukkipati, and I am your host for this episode. I am the founder of Good Day Cork and the Wild Ones Podcast features the guest speakers of the Wild Ones Salon, a place for women and non-binary people from all backgrounds to gather and smash stereotypes.

New Speaker (00:32):

This episode is special because we had an in-person Wild Ones Salon after having to meet online twice last year COVID and all .. We met in Maureen's bar in Cork city center and hosted the first in-person Wild Ones Salon in aid of Cork based charity SERVE's Flip Flop Appeal. The Flip Flop Appeal, support women and young people living in vulnerable communities to lead dignified life through skills training and entrepreneurship opportunities. The values of the appeal aligned so well with the values of the Wild Ones Salon and that both help empower people. We invited two past SERVE volunteers as guest speakers who have so many stereotypes to smash. First up,is Bhooshita Soyjaudah, who is currently studying Public Policy and Diplomacy at UCC. Bhooshita speaks about challenging the question: 'Where do you come from?' Bhooshita explains this by sharing personal experience from the impact of this question.

Speaker 2 (01:41):

I'm Bhooshita. So as Jo said, I'm studying UCC International Public Policy Diplomacy. It's a very tough <laugh> course, but, um, before I get there, this is only started this year. I had to tell the background. So I was actually originally from Mauritius. If you don't know where that is an island in the middle of Indian Ocean where the dodos from, if you know that beside Madagascar, because people really don't know where Maurutius is. It's a very, very tiny island. Um, I was only born there and I left there at nine months old. So I moved to India, uh, for nearly six years. So I lived in three different regions. So I lived in two regions in the south of India. So Vishakapttinam and Hyderabad. Then I moved to Mumbai. And then, um, after that, I moved to South Africa for four years and then back to Mauritius because recession hits.

Speaker 2 (02:33):

So the background to that is, my dad used to work in the diamond industry. So he was a diamond cutter. So wherever his company takes him, he just relocates. So we just go along with them. Um, it's actually eye-opening like at a young age, seeing everything in different countries, culture-wise, language-wise, because I, I absolutely love languages. And, um, I learned the different areas, all the languages there. And, um, it was really good to interact everything to see, because I think that's what a child needs to see. Like from the eyes from a very young age, see everything around them, the surroundings, everything. And it that's, what's made me nowadays, feel fortunate for what I have at the moment. Then after South Africa, we moved back to Mauritius in 2005. Then what happened was the recession hit in, in South Africa. So my dad lost his job there.

Speaker 2 (03:20):

So then for going back to Mauritius, I never went to school there. And all the schools there was French speaking and English is my first language, but for my whole family could either be French or Creole or Hindi as their first language. So then I had to like cope with everything, learning in French that it had to be placed in a private school. Then I wasn't really coping that well because of just everything there. So then immigration opened in Ireland. So my parents was like, okay, let's just take, I have an older brother as well. And he was leaving cert there. Um, he's seven years older. So we, he just stayed there just because I was leaving cert. But then, um, we moved to Ireland in 2006. So I came here September, was it September 29th, 2006. And I was only 10. So it was kind of like, it wasn't really a shock to my system because I was kind of used to seeing everything.

Speaker 2 (04:08):

It was, I was like, great. It's, English speaking, this is amazing. That's what I wanted to see. Um, and I can actually relate to people then from there, the thing is everyone thought like I'm gonna go in very deep here. So everyone, because I was brown, like they always just saw [me] as Indian. So I never really took into consideration at 10 years old. Like, oh, I'm not gonna correct them. There's no point. Like, I don't see the point in repeating myself. Then over the years, like in, um, when I went to secondary school, I lived in Dublin for like eight years. So that's why I did my primary, secondary school. And the thing was what shocked me was in sixth year. The people I've been in since first year. Like I wasn't, I was friends with everyone. Like I just got along was in a cliquey school.

Speaker 2 (04:51):

So, um, they didn't know where I was actually from. They thought I was from India, but the whole six years I was there, that's a shock to me. And then when they were, and then when they said that, oh wait, then it was like, where you actually from? I was like Mauritius, because we had to do like a whole thing for six. I don't what it was prefect. And all we had to do like loads of stuff with them. I dunno what it was. I can't remember as far back in 2015. So then I was like, oh wait, this is great. But the reason why I never really disclosed why I was, because I think there was this, I think everyone knows the murder that happened in Mauritius, the Michaela McAreavey murder. So I just did not want to like, it's good in a way in my head.

Speaker 2 (05:32):

My mom was like, if maybe it's just better, we just don't say where we actually from, because we, there was in loads of attacks in Dublin to Mauritian people. That's where most Mauritian people lived. And so we just kind of stayed away from it. I just really did not sit because I didn't wanna be bullied. I, I didn't wanna be anything like that be told, like, it's we, we weren't there. So we don't know exactly know what happened. We just don't know anything. So, um, then when I came to co in, what is it? 20 June after my name started in July, 2015, moved to west cork. This is even worse. <laugh> <laugh> to Clonakilty. And in that town, everyone just stared at me. Like they were like, what? The, I felt like I was in a museum. And like, I was like, why you staring at me?

Speaker 2 (06:16):

Then I got a job in a cafe in, it's very popular one in, Clonakilty, bang back in the middle of the square. And every single person I came across was where are you from? I always say, that's my challenge is.. so 'where are you from?' Then? I always say, Dublin, I don't wanna give you context of anything. And then they're like, no, no. 'Where you originally from?' And I'm like, Dublin, like no, where your parents from? And I'm like, oh my God. And I was like more then automatically. I know in my head, the next question, the third question, the fourth question, basically, I'm telling this total stranger, my life story. So why should I be telling them my life story? Why, what is it to you? Like I'm the first generation like, MoriMauritiuas like in immigrant, in Ireland.

Speaker 2 (07:06):

So why should I be telling you any of this? It doesn't make sense to me. Like, I don't ask you why you, where you're from. Why here? I don't, I don't go into it. Just take the country and just move on with it. Then follow that [with] why did you leave such a nice sunny country? And I am like, <laugh>, it came in my head then why did'nt you tell your uh, ancestors, why <inaudible> they left Ireland? And you don't see me question you about that. So, um, then I'm like, oh, geez. I'm I just said that I just lived abroad.... Parent's job. I just, I can't, I it's, everything to me always felt like an excuse. And I think over time, as soon as I got older and order, and it just affected me in a way, I'm like, why should I be telling anyone a stranger of my life story that is not something I should be telling you, you basically know everything about me.

Speaker 2 (07:57):

And then they're like, then the accent and they're going like, oh, your accent's very neutral. And then I'm like, what do you expect? And I'm like, oh, just explaining like an Indian or like accent. And I'm like, this is just stereotyping me. Like, I don't have an accent actually, I can turn into like a Cork accent. This depends on the day. <laugh> depends on my mood. If I talk to my mom, I have a very strong French accent and Sinead can contest to that. Like, I can have a very strong, like going into it, but like, it just, I just couldn't. And then it came to like, uh, in going to UCC then, so my journey there took a while longer than it should have been. Like, I should have been finished like done my undergrad in like 2018.. '19, same as my other friends. But I didn't, it's just that it was hard to like, stop me from paying international fees, just with immigration. It was a bit crazy. So that's another story. But I got there. I graduated last year in November and my undergrad was, uh, BA in Chinese and Asian studies. So I really love languages. So I, but yeah.

Speaker 2 (09:03):

Keep it in there.

Speaker 1 (09:03):

Yeah. That's all I have to say. Love languages I have. And then I decided that I would like to do a course. Like, I, I didn't know, like what masters to do that is between international relations and an international public policy and diplomacy. So then I got accepted to both and I was weighing my decision, like, which one module wise, what do I see myself into then I picked, of course, I'm in right now. And the reason why is because I want to help migrant children, integration, asylum seekers, refugees, that's the main focus of mine. I wanna make a change in Ireland for people who do not know their rights for people like who just came from a country. Like they don't know what to do, like in entire provision, how they live in. Like, I just, because of what I want, I went through in this immigration system, which is very, very bad right now.

Speaker 1 (09:49):

I want to help them and let them know what's going on with them because it's, it's sad to see a child grow up in a system. So basically that's my thesis, by the way, my Master's thesis. <laugh>, it's about the integration among migrant children. So yeah, that's what I want to challenge is like, what's where you're from. Just be careful on how you phrase that question, because it does affect a person. You can maybe just ask where you, I think the most nicest way to say like, so are you first a generation in Ireland or where your parents are from? Just don't question, keep on going on and on about this. Because for like, they could know, I was, I could say, I just said that as Irish, but then they'll really, um, ask like, what's the word they they'll go atme about it. Like really you're Irish. Like anyone can be Irish.

Speaker 1 (10:43):

I moved to Cork from India about 10 years ago. And I can't thank Bhooshita enough for sharing a personal reflection to challenge the question, where are you from. Now, you'll hear from Jeanie Jaynti and the owner of alchemy school of yoga, Jeanie generously shares personal experiences. And in doing so I learned that she has challenged the normative ways of being every step of the way.

Speaker 3 (11:10):

Okay, hello? Um, I'm Jean or Jeanie and actually almost completely opposite to Bhooshita I am from Cork. I've lived in Cork. I'm pure Cork <laugh>. Um, my recently did some, uh, family tree and I think I'm about five generations on both sides, cork. So that's quite, that's a lot, it's a lot of Cork. <laugh> Through and through. Exactly. Um, however, I've had the privilege of traveling a lot. Um, and yeah, it just kind of struck me when, when you were chatting, um, you know, what a privilege it is to, to have grown up in Cork. And I said to you earlier, I love this city. Um, I had to go away from it to realise, uh, why I loved it. Um, but from a really young age, I remember my mom saying she, she was so supportive of me, but I think she was like, oh my God, what is this child I'm raising?

Speaker 3 (12:14):

Cause my sister was quite, um, maybe obedient is, is a good word. Um, whereas I was like, no, I'm not doing that. You know? And I used to always challenge things like, no, that's, I'll do it this way. This is a much better way of doing it. And I think when I was about seven, she asked me what I wanted to be. And I told her I wanted to be a ballet dancer and joined the Peace Corps. Um, and I had something else, I can't remember what it was. And she was like a ballet dancer in the Peace Corps. Okay, great. Whatever. But I think from, from a really young age, I, I loved being different and I don't mean for the sake of being different. Um, it took me a while to figure out that it wasn't just about challenging the stereotype for the sake of it.

Speaker 3 (12:58):

It was like, God, that's a really stupid way of doing it, not stupid, but that's the wrong word. That way doesn't suit me. Mm-hmm, <affirmative> actually this way makes way more sense. Why has nobody thought of it this way? Um, and again, I think that's such a privilege to have had that innately, you know, in me that drive to, to challenge things, um, in the middle of that the teenage years came and then it's like all about being accepted, you know, and I definitely did the conforming thing and the I'm gonna act like this, cuz I'll be accepted. And I'm gonna say these things cuz that's what you're supposed to say. Um, and I'm sure everyone here can relate to being a product of the, um, you know, be a good girl and don't cause trouble and you know, don't cause controversy and say that thing, even though you wanna say that other thing, cuz da da, da, da.

Speaker 3 (13:51):

So that was definitely there for a while and I definitely got lost in, in that. Um, and I'm trying to think where to even go from here. Um, but yeah, I definitely always had that drive of paving my own pathway. Um, and I was always fascinated in learning how things worked, like why, so that I could then use that information to decide where I wanted to go. And I was always fascinated by science. Um, and I studied chemistry in, in UCC and again had a huge privilege of coming from, uh, actually a kind of a mixed socioeconomic household in that my dad is like working class inner Cork city. Um, and my mom was from Douglas from a very stable middle class, financially stable family. Um, but both of them really valued education and hard work. Um, so we were, even though money was a bit tight when we were growing up, like we didn't have an option of not going to University or, or um, third level I should say in Cork it wasn't an option to pay for us to go elsewhere.

Speaker 3 (15:00):

But I think we're blessed in Cork with all the different third levels that we have PLC colleges. Exactly. I also attended some of those. Yeah. Um, so I studied Chemistry cause I was just really interested in it. And about two and a half years in, they kept talking about like, and when you get a job in a pharmaceutical company and I was like, oh, I don't wanna do that. And all, all my classmates were like, why did you study this? And I was like, oh, I dunno. I never thought about it. It was just that I was interested in Chemistry. So I decided halfway through my degree that I had no intention of ever working in a pharmaceutical company ever. Um, and that I was gonna be a dancer back to my dancing. I always been interested in movement and the artisticness of that. Um, and worked a lot in the dance club with the dance club in UCC, um, and decided then to go to Stiofáin Naofa, after my degree to study dance, a diploma in dance, purely for the interest in it.

Speaker 3 (15:58):

I think like I'd traveled with SERVE and I'd been to India, um, with Suas who were another Irish, um, charity and, um, didn't want to do the year traveling that people were doing after their degree. So decided to do a diploma in dance. And I was 23 and had just finished my degree and most other people were 17 and were like wanting to make it on Broadway. And it was just pure enjoyment. It was so beautiful to study something for the sake of enjoyment. Um, and unfortunately during that year, pretty close to me, uh, graduating from the Diploma in dance, my mom got really sick and actually passed away. So that was a really, really challenging year. Um, and again, I just still had this drive to not let that stop me even though for, it would be a half an hour. If I went into this different financial reasons myself and my sister had to raise my brother and pay a mortgage.

Speaker 3 (16:53):

So I had no choice, but to go and work in the pharmaceutical industry, which I actually really enjoyed, which I hated saying hated saying it. Um, and I was like, oh, actually, this isn't that bad. And I did it and I really enjoyed it. And um, about five years in, I was getting itchy again. And I was like, and I remember my boss coming to me and she was like, Jean, you know, we're really happy at your work. We've kind of earmarked you for management and we're gonna, you know, work you up quickly through the ranks. And I was sweating being like, how can I get outta this? And like, I know that all of my colleagues were praying for that opportunity. And then I started feeling guilty and I was like, oh God. Um, and then as as many good stories start, uh, during that fifth year in there, I was in Reardens, which I'm ashamed to say <laugh> and, um, no I'm not.

Speaker 3 (17:50):

And long story short locked eyes with this guy across the bar and started a whirlwind romance. Um, which two years later found me married, living in Germany with him. Um, having a great time. We had a great few years together. Um, and my friends were shocked because they were like, Jean, I thought you'd never get married. Like I was that person who was like, you know, you don't have to get married to be successful. And if that is your choice, you can get married and be successful too. Um, but I was never that person who wanted the, you know, 2.4 children and the three bed, semi-d and, um, and the dog <laugh>, um, some of those things I definitely want, but I knew I didn't have to go down that route. So I think my friends were really surprised and I probably surprised myself as well.

Speaker 3 (18:38):

Um, and yeah, we had a beautiful relationship, but about four years in, we were like, what are we doing? We're really young. We're not really getting on, been through counseling. You know, we were like, we're so young and we're together cuz we have a piece of paper mm-hmm <affirmative> that says we should stay together. Um, so we decided to split up and still very good friends and very amicable break up. We actually shared a solicitor for the divorce, which I'm very proud to say <laugh> and my solicitor kept saying, you know, this isn't normal and you need to seek your own legal advice. I was like, I trust him, it's fire or fight <laugh>. Um, and that for me back in Cork cause I had traveled for a good few years with him. Um, and I had done my yoga teacher training in this time.

Speaker 3 (19:26):

I should say I'd always been fascinated by movement. Little did they know the pharmaceutical company gave us free yoga classes at lunchtime, which was the main, one of the main reasons I left I left and became a yoga teacher, um, and finally thought, oh my God, here's something that has movement with meaning and can help people. So when I moved back to Cork after we split up, I decided, okay, now I'm gonna like make something of this. And um, I set up my own yoga business here. I hate saying the word business, but it's true. Um, that's definitely my own internalized. Um, what's the word judgment of what were you gonna say? We were saying anti-capitalism yeah, exactly, exactly. <laugh> I'm stealing my words. Um, but I've slowly learned that actually I feel money in the right hands can actually do a huge amount, um, of work.

Speaker 3 (20:25):

And I slowly started to realize that you can be successful. We were just talking about success in business and not be a d*** that's that's what I've learned. Um, and that you can provide a really good service and inspire people and employ people actually and give them stability and an income. Um, but interestingly enough, my challenging, the way things are done continued and people were like, you, you, you can't do that. Like, why are you, you, you should, you should run your business like this other successful yoga student. And I was like, no, I'm gonna do it this way. Thanks very much. Um, and so even in business, I definitely noticed I've continued with that and I'm actually really grateful for you for asking me to be here because I never would've, um, maybe, uh, articulated it in that way, um, that I was challenging the way things go.

Speaker 3 (21:18):

So thank you for that. And I remember last year we decided to close for the whole of January, which in the fitness yoga isn't fitness, but let's just say that, um, people were like wash, like that's your busiest time of the year. And I was like, we're burnt out from COVID people. We're teaching s*** classes. I was like, we don't wanna teach people don't wanna come. And I just remember getting a flood of emails from other yoga teachers around Ireland who were like, thank you. I wanted to close, but I didn't think I was allowed close and you've inspired me to not work. And you know, so I'm very passionate about not going against the status quo just because for the sake of it, but because if it aligns with you and what you want to do and to kind of go back to the traveling around or being from court thing, as much as the privilege to have grown up here, it's also often a microcosm of, you know, a container, um, where everyone knows everyone and like, oh, you can't do that.

Speaker 3 (22:20):

Like, you know, have to do it this way. Um, and there's definitely been times all right, where I've noticed I've acted differently outside of co or even Ireland than I have here. Um, but I think I'm definitely getting more and more comfortable with being more me. Um, yeah, there's also recently been lots of different changes for me as well. Um, that I started to challenge lockdown was well horrific at times, but so interesting as well with the amount of space and um, thought provoking, you know, when everything you used to do is being challenged actually. Um, I had so many different ways and time to actually explore who actually am I, I think I definitely attached a huge part of my identity to I am the yoga, the, the yoga teacher from alchemy school of, you know, or all of these things. And then suddenly all that's taken away is like, oh God, who am I?

Speaker 3 (23:25):

Um, and I think I'm fortunate, but it was a challenge in lockdown to adore what I do. And then when you're, so it's not just a business, it's my passion. And I feel like my, um, what we call in yoga, your Dharma, your purpose, your reason for being here, um, when that's taken away then that I was stripped bear and I was like, okay, who the f*** am I? I also curse. Um, and I, I joke with my friends that I think I'm the only yoga teacher in Kirk who doesn't have my nose pierced and has no tattoos.

Speaker 3 (24:02):

There's nothing wrong with it, but now I really want to get my nose pierced. I'm like, I can't, I'm the yoga teacher doesn't have her nose Pierce. No, I'm sure there's other.

Speaker 4 (24:15):

Our women's studies class went for a group nose piercing.

Speaker 3 (24:19):

I love it. Um, so yeah, when I was trying to figure out who I was, I remember sitting with, uh, a really good friend of mine. There's nine of us from school who were all really good friends and we still are. Um, and I'm 37, they're between 37 and 38. And at the time I was quite happily single actually, but I was also a bit like, oh, it's locked in. And you know, we're kind of getting into the ninth month now of it. And anyway, we were chatting and we were just a bit despondent at the people we'd been meeting online or like out and about.

Speaker 3 (24:54):

And, um, I just said to her, I was like, Catherine, I can name a hundred women that I think are amazing and who are doing the work and da, da, da. And then I just sat there and I was like, oh, I was like, oh my God, maybe I fancy. I was like, maybe I'm bisexual. And she's like, what? She's like, you've always loved men. And I was like, that's the definition of bisexual that you love men, but you also love women. And I remember just being like, holy. And it was this huge moment for me, but I kind of did nothing about it. And then anyway, we decided that night after a bottle of wine to sign up to this new dating site and you had the option, thank you, modern times of picking men, women, or everyone. And I just remember my hand going, oh, oh my God.

Speaker 3 (25:40):

And this is very wonderful for me to say, but like, I don't feel like I was closeted and had kept this a secret for ages. I think my best friend in the whole entire world is a lesbian and I never identified with that or her. Like, I love her and love everything she does, but suddenly I was like, I never, I, I just, it genuinely didn't cross my mind that I had this choice or I could challenge the way things were. Um, so recently that's been a huge, new, beautiful exploration with me. And I have a beautiful partner now Clodagh, who would also consider herself or bisexual. And that's been a gorgeous, um, exploration that we've been on together. Um, and then just to go even deeper into that, I also had met someone who told me that they were, um, ethically non monogamous or polyamorous.

Speaker 3 (26:29):

And I was like in Ireland <laugh> cause I had met someone in America years ago and the minute they said it to me, I was like, that makes perfect sense to me. Um, but I was like, you could never do that in Cork cuz I could just be your cousin and you know, <laugh> you couldn't do it. And they were like, yeah, there's this whole community. So that's been another huge like exploration for me recently of like, you don't have to be the way that 90, whatever percent of the community are your, your community are. And actually by and large, they're all pretending too. That's my, that's my not all pretending, but they, they, they might not have explored it to that level also. So that's been a really, you know, you kind of think you're finished challenging everything and then you're like, oh no, God, I've been thinking this way for so long.

Speaker 3 (27:19):

And actually what if it was like this way? And there's been many times as well, I should say where I did challenge the way I was doing something or thinking and was like, Nope, back to that. Or the way I actually really liked that way. You know, it doesn't always have to be that this big change it could be. Oh no, I tried that. No, that's not for me at all. Actually I was very happy doing this. Um, so yeah, that's, there are the challenges, I dunno, was that what you wanted to talk about? Who knows come back next year?

Speaker 1 (27:53):

Isn't that plenty food for thought. Thank you, Jeanie for your kindness and grace. Well, that's it. My dear wild once. Hope you enjoyed this podcast, feel nourished and empowered and please, please, please share it with friends far and wide take care and stay wild.